Continuing on from last Friday. This is part two of “End of the Line”. If you missed part one, you can read it Here.
The train crept closer. This time, she held her nerve, grateful for the taste of alcohol on her tongue.
Sixty feet away. Cassie breathed in and out and in again. Fifty feet. The driver could see her now, but it was too late to stop. Even if he pulled on the brakes. Too late for the train, but not for her.
Cassie clenched her fists, aware of her shaking legs and flight response kicking in. No, she wouldn’t cave, not tonight.
“Hurry up,” she said, her wide eyes filling with tears as it hurtled on toward her.
She couldn’t go back to her empty life. The first bout of depression hit her smack in the middle of her final year of school. Anti-depressants had been prescribed, and they’d been useless. Eighteen months of horror had enveloped her, but she’d recovered, slowly, and gone on to college.
The driver honked, and Cassie almost felt sorry for him, almost. But her own grief filled her. She did hope he wouldn’t blame himself, but she had no space to worry about anyone else.
The second attack happened during her post grad. She ended up taking an overdose. Her flatmate found her in time, and the doctors changed her medication. She’d recovered again, but this time it was so much worse. She could barely function at work, and her buddies had given up calling on her. She didn’t blame them; she’d been a crappy friend, and daughter for that matter.
Forty feet, thirty, twenty five. Her breath hitched, and adrenaline pumped through her. Cassie had never felt as alive as she did now.
Twenty feet. The horn blared, assaulting her ears with its offensive sound. Fifteen feet.
And then she panicked, leaping to the side and rolling into the grass by the tracks, away from the danger of the slithering, black carriages. Stumbling to her knees, her back to the passing train, Cassie cried out. The noise was lost to the thunk thunk thunk behind her. And then there was silence.
Cassie screamed, long and loud. Not that anyone could hear her. She was a mile from the nearest house. I’m such a loser, she thought. I can’t get anything right. Her body shook with the force of her sobs. When she’d spent all her tears, she dragged herself to her feet and began the trek home to her dingy flat and shitty life.
As she fell into bed forty minutes later, Cassie smiled bitterly and thought, third time’s the charm.